Are we defined by what our kids do?


A while back I was watching a show where one of the moms adamantly claims: I am not, nor will I ever be, a soccer mom. All the other moms constantly told her she was stiffling her kids because she refused to let them become what she was not. Forcing them to become nerds or artsy fartsy because all sports were banned. And obviously not nerds or artists in a cool this is my passion kind of way but I have no social skills because I sit inside by myself all day, kind of way:( Forward the entire damn show and low and behold the kids finally confront her and tell her they want to try out sports. One in particular wants to play soccer, go figure. And of course they love it. They are not great but no one cares they are having fun. And while the mom allows some sports to creep into their lives, she is barely bothered to go to their games and still says in defiance I am not a soccer mom.
Her whole thing was she refuses to let go of her “single/independent self” to become a mom. She is really selffish and says she shouldn’t have to give anything because she had kids. And while I agree, moms do need things all to themselves and time away to recharge, um by moms I mean dads too, how can you not sacrifice anything for your kids?
So back to my title and burning question(s) are we defined by what are kids do? And is that so damn bad anyway? Being a girl who was overly scheduled and involved in everything, I loved that my mom was always there and always the mom who had snacks, fed the team, contributed in some way. I even did it as a sister for my brother and sister and I plan to do it for my boys no matter what they choose to participate in. Actually I cannot wait to be the soccer mom with orange wedges and tiny bottle of water at the games. Or the wrestling mom who lugs 3 ice chests and a mini paramedics bag in her car to every wrestling event. Even the debate team mom who plays devils advocate to help the team prep. I dream of these days in my future, God willing. I am totally weird, I know. But that was and has been my life always. It’s how I grew up. Cheerleading, t-ball, band, wrestling, football, soccer, swimming, mock trial, ASB the list goes on and on. 2 weeks after giving birth to Caleb we packed up the car and the kids and headed to Cal State Fullerton to watch my brother wrestle and we spent every weekend there after at wrestling tournaments in the sling and motorhome and in the stands cheering our people on. What is wrong with being that mom? I just don’t get it. I feel like the parents those people are talking about are the ones who actually are not very good soccer moms. Their kids do it to belong not because they enjoy the activity. And when you have kids you have to release you to make room for them. They don’t have to be the center of the universe for you but neither should you be the center of your universe. Anyway I just wondered if I am weird or you? Do you care if your child is involved in activities and if so, will you be involved a little or a lot. That’s my Aiden up there. Proudly showing off his medal from t-ball. It was his first year and well he had great grandparents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and of course us at every single game, because that’s our family.

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About thecoffeeqween

I am a 30 something year old mom, wife, and lover of all things coffee and tea. I have two kick ass boys, a hubs who looks like Collin Ferrell, and a killer job as a store manager for Starbucks. Follow me as I juggle it all downing espresso, raising boys and learning to be happy with what I got!
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