Cant we all just get along?

I had something completely different ready to go for today, but when I was on Twitter this morning I saw something that really upset me. It was an apology from Striderite to people who had received goodie bags with samples of formula in them. Why do they have to apologize? Why would someone be offended by a sample of baby formula? I immediately sent a reply stating how upset and sorry I was that they had to apologize. I mean really, you are going to call a childrens shoe company for putting formula in their free gift bags?!!! I am getting even more upset writing this!

When I had Aiden I was in a position where I was very sick and things were getting hairy pretty fast. I had tons of antibiotics before and after his birth. I even had a situation occur where I had to take them again a month later. I never got milk in. I barely produced anything. And when I went on another week of meds, it just stopped. I had no choice but to feed my child formula. If I was forced to exclusively breast feed he would have died. And yet I got stares and questions all the time. Are you breastfeeding? No, oh honey why not it’s bad for the baby to give them anything else. Really? Yes, breastmilk is best. Well I can’t it’s impossible. That’s hogwash what do you think people did before formula? Look i don’t know nor do I care!

It was hard enough dealing withthe fact that I didn’t have my son vaginally but then I couldn’t feed him. It was like the world was trying to tell me I shouldn’t be a mommy. And then there’s the magazines and the chat boards and it seems like everyone is breastfeeding and if you aren’t then you are a bad mom. I felt terrible and broken. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse I saw it. The disclaimer on the formula can in big bold letters like the surgeon generals warning on cigarettes: important notice breast milk is best or babies. Oh my God even the formula companies are judging me! I used to cry every time I saw it. Finally I took a sharpie and blacked it out.

Now on my second I did breast feed for awhile but when a medical issue came up and I was forced out of commision for a while, I had no problem giin him formula. I saw how smart and healthy my first born is and it’s a no brainer. But I feel like we are so judgmental towards one another as both women and mothers. And whether you choose to breastfeed or formula you shouldn’t be made to feel superior or inferior to anyone. We all want to do what’s best for our children and no one wants to hurt them in any way. We need to respect and encourage one another not beat each other down because our choices are different. Ok I fell a little better now thanks:)


About thecoffeeqween

I am a 30 something year old mom, wife, and lover of all things coffee and tea. I have two kick ass boys, a hubs who looks like Collin Ferrell, and a killer job as a store manager for Starbucks. Follow me as I juggle it all downing espresso, raising boys and learning to be happy with what I got!
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6 Responses to Cant we all just get along?

  1. Jenny H says:

    I wasn’t aware of this happening. I was all wrapped up in other things today, but hearing about it makes me a little sad. Even when I nursed my daughter, there were rare times when I did not have enough expressed milk in the freezer and had to resort to formula. It’s almost as bad as that supermodel saying last week it should be a requirement for all mothers to breastfeed at least six months after giving birth to build antibodies. Sometimes circumstances do not allow women to nurse, even if they want to, and no one should be made to feel less a mother because of it.

  2. I couldn’t agree more, and I say it over and over and over myself. We have GOT to stop judging each other. I’m writing a book about the stay-at-home versus working mom debate. But moms find SO many other things to get on each other about. Breast vs. formula feeding is just one more. Will it ever stop?!

    I breastfed my daughter and I’m glad I could. I have friends who wanted to but weren’t able and they were VERY upset about it. They felt like failures. And I hated seeing them go through that. Hey, I was formula fed and as far as I am concerned, I turned out just fine. 😉

  3. I think its terrible people would be offended. I understand breast is best but as someone who also had trouble with breastfeeding (EP’d for 6 months) I think it is more insulting to apologize.

    • Thank all of for your comments. It is really hard to get past expectations and realize we all are doing our best and just need to support one another.

      I hate the working vs stay at home too! I once read where someone said that ppl who have to work shouldn’t have kids bc other ppl are raising them!! I don’t even want to go there!!

  4. Marci says:

    I hate the self-righteous. Only you know what is best. If it makes you feel any better, my mom raised me on formula and I have always been a super healthy genius.

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