What constitutes cheating?

So today on the radio they were talking about the 20/60/20 rule of cheating. 20% of men will never cheat, 60% of men will slip up at some point and cheat, 20% of men always cheat. So many people called in and the guys all said they fall into the 60%. But the girl on the show said before marriage it doesn’t count. That got me thinking…
What is cheating? Is it black and white? Is it relative to the situation.
I still don’t know what I think.
Maybe that’s because to my knowledge I have never been cheated on. In high school I did make out with my friends boyfriend so I was a cheater. I have never cheated on a boyfriend or my husband.
My husband says he is not a cheater. He says it’s black and white for him, meaning if I ever cheat marriage is over no matter what. But we went through a rough period in our dating lives and broke up. He was dating a woman and still seeing me every now and again. I knew about the other girl but she didn’t know about me.
I used to say in marriage it’s black and white, you cheat it’s over. But I have seen people come back and survive cheating and have a better than ever marriage. Is it possible? Could you forgive your significant other? I have also seen lots of people destroyed by it.
I honestly believe sometimes it’s just sex. But to be intimate- close in a way only a wife and husband should be is wrong. I believe you can cheat without sex. Some say if you feel guilty about what you did then you cheated. Some say if there is no relations no cheating.
I know I will NEVER cheat on my husband. I know never say never. But in all honesty that’s not me I don’t care if Brad Pitt needs me to take him to save the world- we would all parish. I couldn’t become a call girl if my family was broke. I just couldn’t. My family means too much to me. My husband feels the same way. So while our views on cheating differ, our views on marriage are the same.


About thecoffeeqween

I am a 30 something year old mom, wife, and lover of all things coffee and tea. I have two kick ass boys, a hubs who looks like Collin Ferrell, and a killer job as a store manager for Starbucks. Follow me as I juggle it all downing espresso, raising boys and learning to be happy with what I got!
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