Okay yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. All week I wasn’t feeling well. I felt lethargic. My mind was muddled, it was hard to concentrate. I had the dull pain on my right side- everyone telling me that’s where your kidney’s are. Me replying duh. But yesterday was awful. The night before the pain had worsened. That morning I could hardly stand it. Halfway through the day the way I looked an felt had caused my partners to hassle me into calling the doctor.
So I did. I hate going to the doctor. I feel like such a dork when I’m there. I can never explain myself and what I’m feeling. And I’m always nervous I’m dying.
Yes I think I am going to get cancer and die an leave my boys without a mother. It’s stupid I know. But when I was younger I dreamt I died of cancer, alone. And since having Caleb and some post partum anxiety, coupled with dealing with the aftermath of my aunts death- it is always on my mind.
Normally I can quiet the thought but when it comes to my health it’s hard o Shh the circumstances of my life. I know it’s silly but there are still things I’m so anxious about I haven’t done or get nervous doing because of my anxiety. But I went I have a kidney infection I will live another day.
Long story short: I knew it was probably a kidney infection around Wednesday but didn’t go to the doctor until Friday. I’m a bug ol’ baby y’all!