We learned this week of some news that can potentially be good for us and our family. I am weary because this has happened before and then of course the opportunity fell through leaving a wake of disappointment. I am so jaded I don’t know if I can truly be happy right now. I want to be. I want to be excited and full of joy but if this doesn’t go through I don’t want to feel sad, lost or broken like last time.
I thought I was the only one feeling this way and then yesterday it dawned on me while having a conversation with the hubs, he is scared too. He is always so cool, calm and collected it never once occurred to me he really wanted to want this too. Just the way he talks of said opportunity and the lack of details he is giving despite knowing more hit me- he is jaded too.
I really thought it was no big deal to him the last time this deal fell through. But obviously not. It did impact him and I need to be more aware of his feelings even if he can’t express them right now. It’s good to know it’s not just me! I was beginning to think I’m Debbie downer.
Sorry about all the code- I don’t wanna jinx it. If it looks like it’s a go I will explain more- til then, keep on keeping on!