As I get ready for the birth of my third son I am starting to panic a little. Will my store be okay while I am gone? Will Caleb feel lost being the “middle child”? Will I ruin my boys friendship by adding a third? How will I fit school into my schedule the week of delivery? Goodness you would think by this time around it’s all figured out but no. Having a baby is never simple.
I wish I never felt some of these things sometimes. I know that part of being pregnant can sometimes be these irrational hormone charged thoughts but ugh I don’t like the way they make me feel.
I hope that Aiden and Caleb keep their bond and form one with Callen. I hope that my partners make me proud and uphold my standards while I am gone. I hope Caleb doesn’t feel lost in the shuffle of adding another to our family or baby envy since he is no longer the baby. As a parent we hope and dream and wish lots for our families but as a mother you always feel the hopes, dreams, and wishes. I feel sad and I don’t want to.
I am blessed in so many ways with all that I have. Not material things but my family. Both at home, at work, and extended. A woman could not ask for more. I understand how people allow their kids to become their world now. I love my boys so very much and cannot wait to add Callen to the mix. To see what his personality will be. I know I am so very lucky and karma, the universe, if you are listening…