I usually can hold it in, I can usually rationalize both sides of any argument. But being 8 mos pregnant my tolerance for bullshit is out the window! I can barely contain myself right now. I want to scream, to shack up in my house and not see anyone. I want to make those I love that are hurting feel better. But I can’t. They have to find their own way to peace. I did and I feel better about it. Not 100% but so much better.
To hate you have to care on some level for the person otherwise you wouldn’t invest the time, effort and energy it takes to hate people. I used to hate this one person. But I’ve learned they are in this world and while I don’t have to like it I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of my time. I could very easily hate them for what they still are doing. I could easily beat the shit out of them. And who knows if they ever get up the nerve to say to my face what they say behind our backs- I just might get the chance. But if none of the above happens I’ll be okay, because at the end of the day I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to force a smile on my face. I can sit there next to them and not bat an eye, because whether or not they exist doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.