I wasn’t sure how I was going to proceed with this blog. I love being able to share, capture these moments, and pour out my heart when necessary, but I just came to a point where I didn’t know what to do. I’m so glad I kept it so that I can get this out.
On July 4th I was terribly sad. I had to work 1-10pm and was going to miss a holiday with my boys. Callen is 2 now and this was going to be the first year he could really enjoy fireworks and participate. I wasn’t going to see that and I was being a huge pouty brat.
I went to work and got to see my girls and cheer up a bit. Then we found out the mall decided to close early and I would be home well before dark! I was so excited I was on the verge of tears! We closed up and headed out the door. My husband showed up to pick me up at that exact moment and we were off.
Talking about how excited everyone was I got off early we headed to my parents home. We are blocks from our destination when in one moment our day and subsequently weeks after would change beyond words.
I hear Matt yell hold on and he slams on the brakes and hits the horn. I look up from my phone and see a huge pick up truck barreling down towards us. I scream or shout or something and BOOM! I close my eyes. I squeeze hard. I open them and the car is spinning and I squeeze them harder because I’m sure we’re dead.
I cannot tell you how long this took, it felt like minutes but I’m sure it was seconds. But when you think you’re dying, suddenly in pain like never before, you think you are dead for sure. I open my eyes and the car is stopped. Matt and I move the airbags off and there is glass all over us. I look at him and ask if he is okay. He seems fine, but there’s blood. His finger is bleeding but he says he is fine. I say good get me the hell out of this car.
He jumps out and tries to open my door but it is caved in. The dash is halfway on my lap and my door is up against my right side. I feel like everything from my knee to my hip and tailbone have been shoved up into my body and I am in so much pain I can barely handle it. I beg him and now strangers who have stopped to help to get me out. I tell them I am not dying in this car!! All I can think about is my babies. Good Lord my babies I’m not ready to say goodbye. I don’t want to die. Please God save me I have 3 boys to raise and love and I cannot and do not want to die.
I yell at Matt to call my mom and tell her I love her in case I die. I move my leg because it just hurts so bad and is literally stuck inside the dash. It helps but barely. Now there are strangers in my car. Holding my hands, telling me to calm down. Asking me questions to assess my mental status, breathing alongside me because once I realize I’m stuck I almost pass out.
I so wish I knew who these people were. They helped me more than they could ever know. Once I am breathing fine I find my calm. My vision is clear, my heart is no longer pounding. Then my mom arrives and she is screaming at the sight of me. Stuck. Stuck in a car that looks like one of those cars you see on the side of the road after an accident and you say oh my I hope they got out alive.
I tell her mommy I’m okay. I’m in pain but I’m okay. Mommy calm down I’m okay I promise. All this time these wonderful people are holding my hands and telling me how great I’m doing. I seriously love these people.
Finally help arrives and the firefighters get in and start holding me down and prying the door off. At this point I still don’t know if I’m going to live but I said I’m going to fight to live. And because the jaws of life are insane I had to watch. They pop off the doors and get me out. I’m doing okay. This is all so surreal it’s like I’m in a drill or a movie scene not real life. I am alive and I’m almost in shock that I made it out of that damn car. I see all my family standing by, the look of horror on their faces frightens me, but it’s not until my dad yells “be strong Ali we love you,” that I start to cry. I just say I’m trying dad I’m really trying.
To be continued….