Life Changing Moments: Part 3

This is the part where, in retrospect, I become very angry. I am not a person who screams and yells to get their way. I can if pressed to my breaking point but I have learned in my old age, most of the time throwing a tantrum is just not worth it. I laid on a gurney without anyone by my side, without pain meds for hours. I was supposedly just fine. I just had deep tissue bruises to the bone but I would be fine. I told everyone to go home and take care of my babies, rest so they could come get me when the time came. I was in excruciating pain but I could take it, I’m going to live after all. Seriously though I would have paid anyone whatever money they wanted for an 800 mg Motrin. I mean really they know how injured I am I told them I’m a 10 on their scale of pain. Did I need to actually cry to make them believe me? I cry just not when I need to be strong and now was that time. If I cried I would feel all my feelings and fears and anger and I couldn’t do that in the hospital. So I laid there listening and agonizing. Listening to all the other people screaming, all the calls over the intercom notifying the team of the next emergency arriving. I heard this lady loose her ever loving mind and use ever foul word in the book to try to get her way. In the end she was discharged and told if she wanted treatment she would have to sign in again, hopefully at another hospital! I tried not to feel or think about what happened but every time I closed my eyes that truck was there. The car was spinning and I wanted to scream. The nurse comes in and says as soon as I walk a few steps I can go home. I ask if I get any pain meds to help and she says well maybe after wards. Um maybe after wards? In my head I’m losing my mind, on the outside I just breathe. People I cannot explain the pain at this point. My tailbone feels like it has been shoved up into my body and my knee and hip are throbbing. But I want to go home. This place is scary and I want to forget all of this. So the nurse comes around and gives me her hand. I mean just her hand! I’m looking at her like I need to lean all up on you and you need to slide me to the edge of this bed lady! Don’t get me wrong she was nice and all but again just because I’m not screaming and crying on the outside doesn’t mean I don’t feel that way on the inside, especially when I tell you repeatedly. So I tell her over and over again as I try to stand that I can’t do this. That my hip and knee hurt and there is no way. She smiles and says yes you can it will hurt but you can do this. I seriously want to punch her in the face. I suck it up and ask for drugs, for crutches anything to help. She replies well you won’t have morphine at home so no. Afterwards we can talk to the doctor about pain management but right now I need to take a few steps. I close my eyes and imagine knocking her on her super smiley ass! Then I open them and put my foot on the floor and try to put weight on it. I almost scream or I let out some noise. I can’t remember I just know I said no! I tell her something is wrong, it doesn’t feel right. She just keeps pressuring me I mean encouraging me. I try a couple of more times before I finally say enough is enough get me a doctor. The doctor comes in and starts in on me. You have to do this, it’s just bruised, nothing is broken, I can get you crutches if you think it will help, blah, blah, blah. I cannot believe the attitude this dude is giving me! I tell him I feel like I also have a pulled muscle or something in my upper thigh because it shoots an electrifying pain between my hip and knee every time I tried to stand on it. I tell him over and over my hip and my knee. He starts hounding me for an exact pinpoint of the pain so I finally say look I had 3 c sections and got up and walked as soon as I could. I walked my way out of the hospital early each delivery, hell I helped load the car with my first! If I could I would walk my happy ass out right now!! But I am telling you this pain is unbearable and something is very wrong. I hear him consult a doctor outside my door. This doctor suggest an X-ray of my femur since I am now complaining about my thigh. So i am finally whisked away to the X-ray room. And there I finally encounter the nicest person ever. So funny and sweet and apologetic for making me hurt more by moving me around. Next thing I know I can here lots of people discussing my films outside and they keep asking me if I’ve ever injured my hip before. I don’t know how many times I told them no. Finally the doctor comes back and says they noticed something on the X-Ray that requires a ct scan of my hip. Finally someone sees what I can feel. Again I meet a sweet woman who takes me to the ct and performs the scan. And then I wait. So I called the nurse. I asked her to call my husband and ask him to come. Just tell him I’m bored and need company. Of course he came. We chat and I ask him a million questions about himself. Why didn’t you check into the hospital? I know it’s a broken finger but what if it needs surgery? What if you have internal bleeding? What if? What if? What if? Then I start the how are my babies? Then I cry I stop there because I’m tough and crying is not allowed. Seriously I don’t know what happens to me in these situations. I just have to keep it together. After what seems like for ev er, the nurse comes and asks me if the doctor has come by to talk to me about my scan. I say no and she looks well, sad. She says you have an acetabular fracture. I look at her and say okay I’m trying to think about what I know bout the human body but I got nothing. What is that? It’s the ball joint and socket. I just say okay so I’m not crazy and my pain is real? And she says no you’re not crazy. Okay good thank you. Now can I get some pain medication?! To be continued…

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About thecoffeeqween

I am a 30 something year old mom, wife, and lover of all things coffee and tea. I have two kick ass boys, a hubs who looks like Collin Ferrell, and a killer job as a store manager for Starbucks. Follow me as I juggle it all downing espresso, raising boys and learning to be happy with what I got!
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