It’s surgery day and I’m so nervous. I actually slept a little the night before, which totally surprises me. Honestly as I think back to how scared I was I don’t even feel it. Writing this piece, sharing my thought about what happened to me, has helped.
Anyway, it was such a whirlwind I barely remember anything leading up to surgery. I do remember being in the surgical holding room. It was so nice. There were these other patients I could hear but not see. I watched everyone enter and exit and all the doctors and nurses walk by. Matt was there and my grandparents. I remember still worrying about dying. I remember thinking I’m not going to see my mom before I go back. If I don’t wake up I won’t get to tell my mommy I love her and appreciate everything she has ever done for me. She was there waiting to see me but something happened and the nurse who let’s people back was on break. Seriously.
I have always been super close to my grandparents. But then there was this time where we didn’t exist in each other’s lives anymore. 10 years I lived without them. I was so happy they were by my side through all this. I’m so glad we are rebuilding our relationship.
I talk to the Dr. Eagan. I ask what he will be doing exactly. He describes how they will cut me from way above my hip all the way down to my thigh. If they can’t do everything through that incision they may have to cut up my abdomen too. (Thankfully they didn’t) he told me about all the blood vessels they had to move over, how my sciatica would be moved. Oh great! I have had horrible sciatica pain for years and being pregnant with Callen made it worse. In some cases the sciatica can be damaged and I will lose the ability to lift my foot up to walk! I had already known this thanks to google and my iPhone. I asked how often this happens and he said for him? Never, but it’s always a possibility.
I begin to feel a little better and have confidence in my guy. He is talking to the nurses and says oh I’m just gonna fix this wrist real quick and then I got my acetabular. That’s me! He said no biggie the wrist will take me no time at all and I’ll be right back for you.
Soon the nurse comes over and says it’s time to say goodbye. I still have mostly cried when I was alone and try holding it all in for Matt’s sake. I didn’t want him to know how scared I was. How much I was just trying to make sure the last thing I saw was him. Apparently the nurse told Matt and me, that she was going to give me something on my way back. The last thing I remember is saying goodbye to Matt. I thought I would get the whole count backwards from 10 drill like you see on TV but no. I was out before I even started.
I awoke and my grandma was by my side. I woke up! I woke up!! I was so happy to open my eyes. So happy and groggy. Oh my I was groggy. I thanked my grandma and said goodbye. I still was trying to wake my brain up and figure out what had happened. Surely they didn’t get to perform the surgery. This all seemed too easy. I feel okay and I’m awake. But it wasn’t a dream. Dr. Eagan came by and said it went perfectly. I had the worst type of hip fracture but it broke in the best way. No crushed bones, no jigsaw puzzles for him. A couple of plates and a couple of screws and I should be like new. He did find a fracture in my knee but at the time it didn’t appear to be surgical and not a priority.
After a stint in a rehab hospital, I am home. I am using a wheelchair mostly but can use a walker too. I take it one day at a time and my insomnia is my biggest problem. The moral of the story here is don’t drink and drive. Ever. Just don’t. I was lucky, blessed whatever you believe. I am here, and I have things to do and kids to raise. So let’s get on with it. Thank you for sharing this difficult time with me.