I am such a bad Catholic. Every year when I do participate in lent I fail. It’s like new year resolutions all over again! For the last handful of years I always try to add something instead of give up something. Like one year I tried praying everyday. I almost managed that. And another year I tried meditation every day for 5 minutes a day. Goodness 5 minutes is long when you don’t know what to focus on.
So this year I decided I was going to do a daily devotional. I was killing it the first week. Then I had to make up a day and now…. I think I’m only a few days behind but I’m not sure. I wanted to do some random acts of kindness as well. Yeah I should get on that.
I do have to say what I have read has stuck and has made me think. I haven’t gone to church this season but I think my struggle with organized religion has been documented enough.
The Catholic guilt is strong with this one. Every year I beat myself up about this failure. Even more so than the new year resolution debacle! It’s almost like this is how it’s supposed to be. So I can say I’m bad or that I don’t know if I truly believe. Maybe I sabotage myself and don’t even realize it. I mean when I give up things I usually succeed. Who knows. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime I have some reading to do.