Lately it feels like life is coming at me. Like it is personally trying to break me. I don’t talk about my marriage much but my husband and I are still trying to find our new balance as our family changes and develops. It has it’s ups and downs but definitely more ups than downs so I consider that winning. But life itself is just giving me all kinds of feels. In the last 2 weeks I found out a friend killed himself and another friend discovered a serious health issue. We also had Halloween and birthdays and goodness gracious it’s just so much right now. I read in a book and I can’t for the life of me find where I wrote this down but it was something to the effect of… I am a girl standing in the middle of a tornado pretending it’s not even windy. I am sure I messed it up but that’s how I feel. Like everything is swirling around me and I am just standing still not moving.
I don’t like this. I don’t do life out of control and right now I feel so far behind that what is the point in even scrambling now. I have let my calendaring go, I am behind in updating the kids papers from school and I haven’t unpacked a box in the garage in a month. And now the weather is shifting and no one has enough winter gear to sustain this. I need one of my kids to say my go to phrase for them: suck it up buttercup or buckleup duckie. Because I am being a lame ass!
So that’s why I’m writing I needed to get it out there and now I need to move on. Happy Thanksgiving!